i cried out.
i cried.
i believe.
i trust.

even when i'm scared
when i'm in my lowest valley
i know that You are always there
and i will praise You!

Things that make you feel good. just thinking about them. got it as a email fwd (one of the rare few i open) and lol, really does make you feel good (some of it, anyway). almost like how that music vid of all the pretty boys made you feel good, mike.


1. Falling in love.


2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.


3. A hot shower.


4. No lines at the supermarket


5. A special glance.


6. Getting mail


7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.


8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.


9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.


10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.


11. Chocolate milkshake.. (or vanilla or strawberry!)


12. A bubble bath.


13. Giggling.


14. A good conversation.


15. The beach


16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.


17. Laughing at yourself.


19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.


20. Running through sprinklers.


21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.


22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.



23. Laughing at an inside joke.


24. Friends.


25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you


26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to

sleep.


27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).


28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.


29. Playing with a new puppy.


30. Having someone play with your hair.


31. Sweet dreams.


32. Hot chocolate.


33. Road trips with friends.


34. Swinging on swings.


35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.


36 . Making chocolate chip cookies.


37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.


38. Holding hands with someone you care about.


39. Running into an old friend and realizing
that some things (good or bad) never change.


40. Watching the _____expression on someone's face
as they open a much desired present from you.


41. Watching the sunrise.


42. Getting out of bed every morning and
being grateful

for another beautiful day.


43. Knowing that somebody misses you.


44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.


45. Knowing you've done the right thing,
no matter what other people think.

IT STARTED WITH A KISS, huh mike?

today's mission sunday. and now everyone wants to go on the short term mission trip at the end of the year. no electricity and water for 2-3 weeks!! yay to me, you know i'd survive with the amount of candles i have ;p

it was funny talking to the turtle ytd about school and all. he makes me look like i'm working way too hard (and for the record, so do you mike), while people like nigara do homework and study from 7pm all the way to 1am. glad to know i'm not the extreme in both cases.

i've been relocated to the lounge. its actually a really nice place. i get to sleep with my piano, the massage chair (mike's dreaded object) and sleep on the flip out sofa thats probably twice the usual size of my single. cept i dont need to much space, but that's not the point. for the first time, i dont need to sleep where i study. i actually think there's more privacy there than in my room, less noise, more secluded..its nice. i'm the only one who actually uses that room. and there isnt even a working tv, stereo, computer, phone or whatever in there. my gosh, not even my candles are there and they're still nice. mmmm.

the mole scan was alright. no apparent cancerous moles (one came pretty close though). thank God.

i'm aching from tennis ytd. must have used too much energy. playing with sharon's friend, he conveniently forgets his opponent is a girl (i know, thats debatable).

i'm into framing now (photos, not people). just framed my yr10 d&d pics. have no where to hang them though. then there's the 'couple' shot me of and jonchia. i really like that one. we're grown up kids. ahaha. i've actually got some really nice shots from my baby. hmm..havent been using it much. i hope it doesnt feel neglected.

i still havent taken photos in the city. i wanna try and enter the competition though. pft.

i'm gonna learn how to drive when i'm 16. holiday assignment. i never realized how many people i bugged to go get their license ;p i'm such a pest. for my sake and others, i will learn and pass. hopefully XD

this is a pointless blog.

you remind me of me a lot. that realization hits me ever so often.
the things you go through and the emotions you feel make me feel like its me we're talking about. that often is a bad thing.
its painful seeing you like that. but never forget that we're all in it together.
you, me and God. orion's belt.
surrounded by a cluster of other stars. friends, and everyone else.
look at the big picture, the beautiful night sky, and smile (:
sorry, but i'll learn to drive soon, i promise (:
in the meanwhile, hold on to all the other promises i made.
i hope i wont disappoint. i will try my best.
i will be praying for you, with you.
God loves you so, so much. and you know i do too.
you're awesome, my big candle (: keep shining for Him, for all of us.


it's gonna be one incredibly interesting term ahead. its gonna be like a rollercoaster ride. and i dont particularly like rollercoasters. but you know what?

bring it on.

i think this stupick's 160th post.

i've not really been blogging here a lot. not even matching harry's posts one to one. which is kinda sad considering i'm more of the writer and she's more of the listener.

in other words all i do is talk talk talk and she... is probably the best wall you can find around.

or he, depending on how you look at it.

i'm msn-ing karina and we're having a conversation about guys. big surprise, it's karina. and the older she gets, the more she loves those boys XD.

boys seem to be the hot topic with people around me at the moment. it's weird how you can be talking about your chicken sandwich one second and the next thing you know you're talking about some random dude in year 12.

mebbe that's why sometimes i go talk to the guys at lunch. because whatever they talk about, i can guarantee [almost] that it's not gonna be about other guys. a bit of a relief, you understand.

aside from that, i'm being swept into the world of asian media. damn those jap and korean boy bands, damn those korean and taiwanese serials, damn me for getting sucked in.

not my fault ok, the songs are really catchy and feel good and make me happy. like, really, they make me feel happy. and those boys can dance XD. a bit too pretty for my taste tho, i'd say [lol, i have taste now]. and the serials.. those are just stupid. i only really like one korean one so far [yes yes, i've watched more than one], but the taiwanese one i'm watching now i like cause it's damn funny. and there's two other taiwanese serials i wanna watch.

also been watching this season of heroes which i have not been catching on tv because house is on at the same time. niki/jessica sanders is freaky shit man. i realize it's better to watch it like i am now, all in one shot, to avoid weekly freak-outs. lining up right behind is the second season of supernatural, which i've not watched on tv because... i forget.

mm... two guys hasn't had a nothing post like this for a while. it's time to get over the angst and shit and move into cheerier waters.

so, harry, IT STARTED WITH A KISS.

the virginia tech shootings. april 16th, 2007. worse shooting in american history.

more fatalities in another part of the country where bombings took place. 200 over people died.

all on the news, all around the world, terrible things are taking place all around. its an ugly world out there.

i'm not gonna watch the news anymore.

lately the weather has been so bi-polar
and consequently, so have i

ahaha, i wonder if i'm in a worse state than i perceive myself to be in. or maybe i've grown so accustomed to not being concerned about myself.

if a metal loses its shine, will the metal itself know? or will the whole world just notice its dullness? will the metal just sit there thinking its still shiny until someone decides to polish it up good so that it really is shiny again?

i did some work today. i'm gonna make green tea ice cream later. i will finish what i have set out to do today. no more 3.45s.

mm... shit happens, harry.

you know it does.

sometimes it's just a little shit, sometimes it gets a whole lot worse. and you feel like there's no way it's going to get better. you know this because you've tried. you've tried so hard to move past it and it just... doesn't work.

and then there's the high points. the moments where you think "i'm alright, how could it ever go wrong?". these are the moments that make you think maybe, just maybe, it's not all bad. and for that split second, you sprout wings.


but when you lose the adrenalin. when the world wears you out and you feel the weight of it coming down on you; it just doesn't seem worth it. it'd be nice to just go to sleep and wake up somewhere over the rainbow.

but then we'd never grow up. and the truth is, there's a part of everyone that's still trying to grow into the things that seem to be happening so fast all around them.

nobody said it was gonna be easy.

hey, shit happens.

but we can always flush the toilet.

this is a test to see if blogging therapy works. so its not gonna make sense. and trust me, it wont.

today..nothing happened at all.

yesterday, something awesome happened. i almost killed myself on several occasions, but the best part of the day came when you saw your youth totally let go and go crazy. to actually hear their voices rising above the music. to see and feel their energy. for the first time since..i cant remember when. to pant after all that activity and have everyone laugh at you (thanks guys, really nice ;p) but to realize at the end of it all that God really did answer all my prayers, is the most amazing feeling around. it was awesome.

the day before felt weird.

i got cheated of my dinner tonight. i liked the weather today. would be nice to be in a cafe just relaxing and chilling out. with coffee or tea and cake.

i just read a warning on my keyboard:
warning: some experts believe that the use of any keyboard may cause serious injury. consult statement on the back of this keyboard.


mike, its a lie. blogging isnt therapeutic.

blogging is therapy.

i've said it before, and i'll say it again.

i dont really know what exactly i need therapy for right now. but i feel like i do.

that makes me silly and angsty and childish.

but if it helps, then i'll do it.

at least it means you won't be on the receiving end.

HOLIDAYS. happiness.

i'm actually looking forward to the trip down south this easter (usually, i'm not). since there is nothing much to do down there besides look at things and be exposed to more things, its perfect for my baby to go get more exercise since she's been sitting in my cupboard doing absolutely nothing for a few weeks now. quite a pity.

[i refer to her as my baby cause i have no creativity to concoct some beautiful name and well, i do treat her as my baby. besides, what can you name a Canon EOS 400D camera? Digital Rebel XTi?]

and plus i'm thankful i made the decision to go raid the city tmr rather than raid my parent's shop. i think i'd die if i worked tmr.

it feels so good to be on holiday. i dont think i need to say much more.

lol, life's full of shit. there's a good and bad side to everything. to life. to people. to the world. i've always been shielded from the bad side of everything, but the more you grow up the more you're exposed to all the bad things. its an ugly world out there. i dont love the world.

its annoying when everyone around you starts getting sick. i'm serious. something within me twitches. so mike, get well soon. cause its annoying to hear you sneezing and blowing your nose and being stoned half the time. also stupid having the urge to nag at you. karina calls it the 'motherly instinct'. so get well soon or go see a doctor. whichever comes first.

sunday's bible study was damn funny XD

faith: so guys...what day is it today?
guy1: er...sunday?
guy2: mm..1st april.
guy3: I KNOW ITS APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!
faith: ...i was thinking more along the lines of palm sunday....

faith: -on the story about Jesus and the Samaritan woman- so why did the woman think it was absurd for Jesus to [do whatever He was doing]?
leon: cause He wanted to draw water from the well without a bucket.


ashira l'Adonai ki gaoh gaah
i will sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed gloriously

haha, God strikes your internet when you think you really need it ;p i always knew God had a wicked sense of humour (pun unintended)

random thoughts.

rain rain on my face; it hasnt stopped raining for days

"can you loose the cords of orion?"

lift me up so high that i cannot fall

to turn away and not become another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves

frustration fills the void that i cant solely bear

His love endures forever

i am the only one to blame for this.

school is ending.

i'm gonna spend more time with my stars, beach, friends, family and my baby. and less time with my books.

spirit wings, You lift me above all the earthbound things