2007

year 11..and all it had to offer.
uncle weekoon and cancer.
lying on the rocks at orchard glory in the dark and silence.
shooting stars.
pain
hurt
tears
God

jetty
trip down south
the small things.

funny how we tell ourselves that next year's gonna be better when its only a difference of a day. its only psychological; but really, its not going to change a thing at all.

i want to sit on that jetty down at south perth foreshore, in that little corner with the wind kissing my cheek and just sing. and come undone.

next year, i'm going to try to be a nicer person. friendlier. more open. more accepting. to try and have a longer arm to reach out.

next year then talk la, huh?

singapore weather sucksss.
sweltering heat + horrendous humidity.
its cloudy and gloomy.
people are wearing scarves (there is no justification)
weather makes you uber lethargic.
everything still feels very very weird.

havent thought of christmas presents yet.
christmas is coming soon.

got savagely attacked by a guitar string ytd.
its gonna be a long sweaty hot humid sticky day.

rar i'm so sleepy

i can see why people would want to inflict harm on themselves.
because its easier than having others inflict harm on you.

like how you'd rather drown your sorrows than let your sorrows drown you.

laughter is not the best medicine.
its probably the best mask though.

never assume everything is okay, because half the time it isnt.
and other times, you just have to look a bit harder to find that loophole.
if you even bother, that is.

its easier to walk away and disappear than it is to watch others walk out on you.

try Jacob's Creek Sparkling Rose.
its good. and affordable.

he smiled, reassuring.

we're gonna be okay.

he took a step closer to her, and she felt better despite the situation.
he had sworn to protect her.

and all of a sudden, she understood what he was about to do, and she realised that she could not - would not - let him give it all up.

not for her.
she wasn't worth it.

no.

but he stepped in front of her just as the gunman pulled the trigger, and she watched him crumple as if in slow motion.

it's just like the movies. it can't be real.

she sank to her knees by his side, her mind running through the million and one things she wanted to say to him but did not know how.

you idiot.

he managed to smile up at her, and she wished he wouldn't.
it hurt more than if he had simply cried out.

then he mumbled something - shaped his mouth around three syllables he could barely breathe - and the entirety of what was happening hit her so hard she could no longer swallow her tears.

he was gone before she even gave her reply.

i love you too.