relationships are not simple things. they look simple, but when you begin to look at its mechanisms, you find you are wrong. way wrong. there will always be a flaw somewhere; a barrier, a restriction. there will always be uncertainties. there will be tests. there will be lessons.

its whether you see enough good in it to overlook the bad.

-

i would write more but my head hurts and i should sleep.

but i do think God from time to time tosses someone in your path just to make your life (and your friends') a teeny bit more interesting. a bit more fun. i wonder whether He does it for His amusement's sake.

mm thanks mike. for being a good friend.

she didn't really know him. not much at all.
he was just another guy she'd never really paid attention to.
just another guy.

but suddenly the birds overhead stopped screeching and began to sing; puddles in their path gleamed silver, not grey. and the part of her that had been flatlining began to spike sharply, though not entirely unpleasantly.

it was reckless, refreshing, ridiculous.

and she really didn't know him at all.

but the possibilities kept walking in on her.




this is what happens when i try to do lit at 1 am.

today an old feeling of mine returned to visit me.
it's a special feeling, this one; comes only for specific reasons.

it was one of those sundays, one of those sermons.
seeing those kids, so lovable and cute, yet with such a bleak future..
all i could think of was

'i really want to go.'

same feeling.

it was so overwhelming, it was a tough job keeping myself together.

i really want to go.

oh well.
byebye Feeling, please dont visit me so soon again.

from lost and not found, to run and not hide
with my hand inside your hand.

photos do amazing things, you know?

spinning, laughing, dancing to her favourite song
she's a little girl with nothing wrong
and she's all alone.

its the worst feeling when someone tells you you need to put in more effort, and you know it's true.
when you hear that exasperated tone in their voice.
when they hoped for more than just that.
when you disappoint someone.

i wish i could push myself more, but its hard going forward without a driving force.

26 september. i will make it. even if it takes hours and hours of frustration and tears, sweat and blood.

it sucks when reality sets in and you realize you're letting yourself and those around you down by not doing your best.

the difference between us and the world.

when you put a non-believer and a believer through a tough time, both will often pull through, eventually.

the difference is, the believer will do so with a cheerful heart and a smile on their face.

***

trust A MOSquito to put things into perspective for me.

still cant smile that heartfelt one unless. (you can finish the sentence)

i can show you the world
shining, shimmering, splendid
so stand on the edge with me
hold back your fear and see
you gotta live like you mean it
love till you feel it
when you only got a hundred years to live

and even the best fall down sometimes
so hold on before it's too late
lean on me when you're not strong
and i'll be your friend
to celebrate the good times
to help through the hard times



-___- too sleepy.

post #205

headache.
i hope you're okay.

mm i want a hug.

a time to embrace and a time to refrain

a time to search and a time to give up

a time to keep and a time to throw away

a time to tear and a time to mend


ecclesiastes 3

***

the question is, when's the right time?

the day i stay back in school till 5:

all in the name of photography.

[wanted to upload photos but seeing that they were all MASSIVE files and it was taking near eternity to load, i gave up on them. one day, one day.]

studio photog is fun. lala we shld do it again.

It's always nice to look out the window
And see those very first few flakes of snow
And later on we can go outside
And create the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky

When February rolls around I'll roll my eyes
Turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies
And by the fire my heart it heaves a sigh
For the green grass waiting on the other side

It's always winter but never Christmas
It seems this curse just can't be lifted
Yet in the midst of all this ice and snow
Our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope

It'd be so nice to look out the window
And see the leaves on the trees begin to show
The birds would congregate and sing
A song of birth a song of newer things

The wind would calm and the sun would shine
I'd go outside and I'd squint my eyes
But for now I will simply just withdraw
Sit here and wait for this world to thaw

And everything it changed overnight
This dying world you brought it back to life
And deep inside I felt things
Shifting everything was melting
Away oh away
And you gave us the most beautiful of days

Cause when it's always winter but never Christmas
Sometimes it feels like you're not with us
But deep inside our hearts we know
That you are here and we will not lose hope