SELF-RANTING IN PROCESS.

happiness is short-lived - agreed?

would you rather have one extremely happy night and all the days that follow become really crap and just a stark difference from that burst of happiness? i think its cruel to do that. cause your bad days will feel worse than they originally did. and if you've never been uber happy you wouldnt hope for it. but..

i know everything happens for a reason. and i know that He is in control of it all. and that comforts me no matter what. but if you just knew why things happened that way, it'd be much easier to swallow. but knowing that ultimately, God is in charge just makes even the worst situation bearable.

i wanna shut myself outta this world. human interaction seems to be pulling me down. i wanna go back and sit down at a cafe and just go on and on and on about everything i need to with avril, have mini worship sessions in the bus without caring about anyone, sitting at hq with michelle and just chilling out.. going to watch gigs with dan at the esplanade, fighting to pay for the bill with jon and avril as we all wave 50 dollar bills.. shoving jon into a neoprint machine and traumatizing the daylights outta him, sitting at starbucks hogging the nice sofas and drinking non-caffiene drinks.. all the things i fantasize about.

what i really want now, is to have one of my rant-over-waffle conversations with avril. "so far away; too far, sar". painful, but true. i cannot tell you how sucky it is to be miles and miles away from the person you wanna talk to. distance - if it doesnt break, it makes. true, it did make, and i'm thankful for that. gotta wait another 8 more months..

"Praise be to God, the God of all comfort..." -2 Cor 1:3

calm the storms that drench my eyes, and dry the tears still flowing