there are people who i really really love to spend time with. it doesnt matter what you do, whether its sitting down in a cafe and simply talking while sipping your coffee; having dinner at a fast food joint in a little booth thinking you're secluded from the rest of the world; shopping for christmas gifts together; or just being at home and talking. these are the people i really hold dearly to me.

but.

for those in singapore (practically all of them), i see them 6 weeks in a year. to cram all the meetings we would have had in the year down to those 6 weeks, multiplied by the number of people i want to spend time with, works out to be more tiring than enjoyable. you just cant cram a whole year's meetings down in 6 weeks and hope that'll be enough to last you the remaining 46 weeks of the year without them. it just doesnt work that way.

plus all of them are studying hard. communication is down to zilch.

here, i have one such person. thats all the more why time with you is never enough. haha, it will never be either.

i wonder what this lack is doing to me. i love my holidays cause yea, that's the closest to independence that i want, that i can get. to go out with whoever i want, wherever, whenever; hardly any questions asked.

i want to go back now.

the lack. its appreciating what you have that makes you content. there's you and You. but time is never enough.

its been too long. and i wonder how much longer.

i want to hold a hand. let me know someone's there. but when there's no hand to hold, you hold your own. and immediately you find yourself in a position to pray. and then it reminds you that you're really not alone at all.

just gotta hold on to that and apply it.

my answer is You.