This post started out as a massive whinge about the amount of work I have to do over the holidays and how lazy I am and how screwed I'm going to be with all my assessments and exams.

Ctrl+A, Backspace.
It's a wonderful thing.


Church camp taught me a lot this year, and one of the biggest things that stands out to me is how much we have to thank God for. (I wrote a mini-sermon about this in our care group e-mail last night, after which I felt like Pastor when he's just finished Point #1.)

You've heard this so many times. We all have. But everything in our lives is a blessing from God. You don't like it? Too bad. Bow yourself down to His will. It will teach you something, and you will become a better person for it.


I like to complain about my school work. I hate the work, but I'm constantly complaining about it because if I'm chucking a sad, it means I'm not doing the work. It's the vice of procrastination which I, unfortunately, honed to an art when I was about 8.

I get depressed about homework, about exams, about how little I know because I haven't been paying attention in class, or doing my homework. Then I upset the people around me with my more-depressed-than-thou attitude.


Why do I complain?
Because I have to study.
Why do I have to study?
So that I pass school, graduate, go to uni, and graduate again.
And why am I doing all this?
So that I will have a nice rest of my life.


You see?
I will have a nice life.
All of you who can read this blog, will have a nice life.

And we take it for granted.


Why am I complaining about homework when there are millions of kids my age out there, who cry every night because they cannot get an education?

Why am I complaining about how much I have to study when I know it's for my own good, and that there are millions of adults out there who wish they had studied harder when they had the chance, so that they could give their kids a chance at a better life?

Why am I complaining about anything at all, when there are so many people out there who would give anything for the bed that I sleep in, the food that I eat, the clothes that I wear, the roof over my head - all of which I take for granted?


Why do you and I say grace at every meal as quickly as we can, so that we can start stuffing our faces, when there are people just a few suburbs away who would thank God a hundred times over for a good bowl of rice?


I'm sad now, just knowing that I will feel this heated for a couple more minutes after I finish writing this post, and then I will fall back into being the self-centered, self-righteous person that I usually am.

I'm upset, knowing that I can be so much better, but I won't.

I'm crying, because even when I'm writing about all these people who are less fortunate than me, all I can think of is what I should do for myself, and not what I can do for others.


People who have so little can give so much.
People with nothing, will give everything.


And here I am, underserving,
and yet, I have so much.
I have so, so much.

So much that I can give, I can share, I can do.


So I'll thank God for all of it.
Really thank Him.

And I'll try.
I'll try to be the person God wants me to become, and help Him make a difference in the world today, knowing that everything is from Him and that if I'm willing, I can be a better person.

I can be a better person.
For Him.